Here’s a place for us to post our experiences during ango this year.
To post your thoughts, worries, expressions of support or whatever, click on the title. Recent posts will appear below, and a place for your post below that under the title “Leave a Reply.”
5 Replies to “Ango 2021 – Intensive Practice”
So i am very new to this. But i have decided to do my ango on the fact i am so new. To let things just be as they are and not what i think they should be. To find peace and let things happen as they will. Which is hard for me, because i have PTSD and other severe issues due to trauma that makes not worrying really, really, really hard to do.
So when i train my dog, or teach kung fu, learning to let things go and not worry if i am going to teach things wrong or not soon enough. And simply just enjoy the moment for what it is.
That’s pretty Zenny right?
Thanks Ms Stubby for your honesty, clarity and compassion with yourself about beginning practice. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of that ango goal. “Beginner’s mind” sounds so simple: yay, the cool lesson! but it’s not easy: phoo, the friggin’ hard lesson!
I’ve committed to the bumpy ride of trying for daily (not, ahem, weekly) zazen during this ango. I need it, I know I need it but Master Monkey-Mind is ready to scream: No! there are too many important things that you “don’t have time for” already! Go get something real done! Sometimes my intentions are outvoted by my fear of upsetting MMM.
So I look to my cat, Joshua, for a guidance reminder. He’s cool and almost always loving and manages his day by ignoring me and truly doing only what he needs to do, no monkey-mind. He looks at me and he’s like “what are you going on and on about, fool? There’s always something to purr about. Find it!”
meows to Tilly
Tilly meows back. and Lucas says hello as well! Thank you today for your kind words about my current situation. Lately, its been im a sneeze away from breaking down from my ordeal. This past year has been such good highs, then crashing lows. The middle grey area hasnt been able to stick around long enough.
But, my ango goal is to just let it be. but its really hard to “let it be” when you are losing a huge amount of things you have, i dont have much to begin with as it is, but to go through this issue, and losing so much, its defeating. So how does one, “just let it be”?
i try to keep my bhuddi mind in place as of late. but its so hard. im depressed and defeated.
I try so hard to stick to the positives. I am training puppies! service dog puppies!!! how can one be depressed when there are puppies around?!
My kung fu club is going great. I love and look so forward to that. I swear the club and the puppy training and my zen family, and the few friends who are trying their best to keep me sane right now are the best things in my life.
but ill keep doing my best. Because hey, thats all one can do right?
im doing everything “right”, but yet i still seem to fail.
im really struggling. and holding on to my positives is becoming a real struggle.
but im stubborn. I will continue on. Because i dont know how else to be. im glad i inspire you. I am glad i came back to the zen center. im glad i am finding my spiritual family.
and im internally grateful. (deepest bow)
i always look forward to sunday meetings. tuesday nights for japanese classes with terry and susan. I am looking forward to more goals in the future to help those who are interested in learning.
struggling, but determined non the less.
Just sitting here and just being. because im too tired to be anything else.
and thats about as Ango vow as i can get.
stay awesome. stay being.
havent updated in a minute. i think my vow is going pretty good. I think its helping me deal with life a lot better. I am not always able to participate like i want due to life’s needs. but when i can, i feel much better at peace. I am glad i am doing my Ango vow. I am enjoying the zazen and how i am using bhuddist ideas in my kung fu classes and the puppy training classes i run.
Just letting things be what they are. Acceptance. the calmness helps so much with everything i do.
hugs n luvs n bows.